“As you become clearer and more adult about what you need to do in order to grow, loved ones will be able to say anything they please and you won’t be affected.  You can simply give them a big kiss and say, “I love you but I have to live my own life.”  End of story.  No moans and groans.  No hysteria about how badly they are all treating you.  In a sense, your need to please shows you what you have to work on – and that is: letting go emotionally of the role of child and stepping into the role of adult.  As difficult as it is, cutting childlike relationships with others and substituting more responsible ones allow you to act much more lovingly toward other people in your life.  It is a paradox.  The less you need someone’s approval, the more you are able to love them.”

Susan Jeffers