“Two-thirds of American movies are extensions of commercials – they tell you how to feel and they tell you how to think – rather than letting you figure it out on your own” (Alan Arkin).

I’m not an expert on American movies, so I don’t know if this is true, but these words from Alan Arkin reminded me a little of my own craft. If in coaching I were to tell my client what to do, what to say, how to do it, and when … I doubt they would learn anything at all about themselves or be able to deal with the issue that brought them to me. In fact, I’ll be firmer … I know that to be true.

Having a critical friend, a trusted guide, a confidante, a listener, a professional coach … all can be rather wonderful and productive and powerful. But please, ultimately, work it out for yourself. Demand that your coach supports and encourages and nurtures, giving you the space to figure it out. That’s the real power of coaching. And I don’t mind telling you that at all.